Why does it never end? One year later, and I think NOTHING is done... 6 more months...maybe...

Why is everything so difficult in my life?
One year later, and maybe more things would be fine. An own apartment for my dear and me and no stressing parents.
no fears about job or where to move. because it's all done...
all fine... I hope. So future...

Nothing is like before. 4 months and my life is still a mess.
Will it ever get better???

Mir ist schon wieder kalt... Die Wohnung ist eiskalt, weil ich natürlich nach den letzten heißen Tagen die Heizungen komplett ausgeschaltet habe...
Ich hasse es zu frieren!
Komm her und wärme mich!

Noone could save me. I guess...
I have to do it on my own. Be strong and things like this.
There was a power and I think my batteries will last for one week. Or maybe two. But than... Another sad silence in my life.
And so on, till... don't know... Maybe forever?
Come back! I can't ... sorry... I don't want to live without you!
Stay by my side... Maybe forever?
Two weeks aren't enough for my little soul...
A call, a chat, but no hugs or kisses...
Another lonely night in a lonely room.
I MISS YOU!!!

It's like I'm just another person.
I could smile. I think everything is getting better these days. But no, I cry. Like almost every evening.

Tears
Everything I see are tears
I hate you... No I can't... Why are you so far away?
Come back!
I love you!

There's such a loneliness inside of me. Noone is around to save me from this hell.
Why can't he understand that I'm not in the mood to move?
I should leave all behind. But I can't decide this so fast. I can't tell him "yes" or "no". I can olny say maybe. But for him its not enough.

So I have to face that maybe there is'nt a life for us together, and maybe we have to to our own things and find another lover?!